Snore No More

Snore No More
June 4, 2016 Dylan Czeladka

“I’m so good at sleeping, i can do it with my eyes closed.”

– Unknown

Two days before discharge from royal Perth hospital, I was moved into a lower care unit.

My intracranial pressure was continuing to stabilize and I continued to show improvement, days away from transferring into rehab in the home.

I remember how welcome I felt, along with the friendly patient to patient advice I received.


I don’t know where you transferred from, but you’re going to wish you didn’t”.

Oh and I hope you brought earplugs, you’re going to need them”.

Laughing it off, and getting settled in, I thought to myself “well my sleep can’t possibly get any worse…”

I was wrong.

9.03pm it began.

The most disgustingly loud, blood curdling snoring I have ever heard. Ever.

I tossed and I turned.

My music and movies were easily overwhelmed.

I planned and plotted, considering to take my hospital blankets and pillow out in the hallway and curl up next to the storage cupboard door.


But before I could put my brilliant plan into action it was interrupted by a short tempered, quick thinking patient to my right.

Anyone would have thought he was playing call of duty by the sound of him repeatedly pressing the call button until someone arrived….

The nurse walked in and asked “Hello, is there something I can help you with!?”

YES, can you get him to shutup!?”

“I’m sorry sir but his rest is just as important as your own”.

well can you roll him over or somethingPreferably onto his face!”

 “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

As she proceeded to leave the room abruptly.

Most people would probably just roll over at this point in frustration, but not this guy.

First the loud clapping of hands.

Followed by the throwing of paper cups over the privacy curtains.

Then came the threats of bodily violence through means of a pillowcase.

To be honest.. I liked his tenacity.



Not to mention that I too craved rest, knowing that every three hours I would be awoken anyway for observations throughout the night.

Pre-accident Dylan probably would have tried to calm him down, spoken some words of support or even just try to relate to his circumstances.

Post accident Dylan however, was far less understanding.

Handing him my packet of Chocolate covered almonds I said… “here you go bro, these hold a bit more weight to them”!

I won’t go into details about the abrupt awakening, the concern from staff or even my overwhelming  chuckling under the blankets as I listened to it all unfold.

But know that night… finally I had my chance to sleep soundly.


For 2 hours and 15 minutes that is.

 Damn observations…!