I Had a Boner in a Coma

I Had a Boner in a Coma
February 11, 2016 Dylan Czeladka

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But even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked – Bob Dylan

Much like the President, it is important to stand tall during moments of weakness… Although I think this is not what most people would have in mind.

As I was comatose at the time, I choose to hold no responsibility for my actions.

However having seen the ICU nurses after awakening, I do now believe in the existence of a “sixth sense” and that mine has been well trained.

I would firstly like to say how strange of an experience it is to meet people you have not slept with,  who have seen you completely naked.

Well it was for me anyway.

As grateful as I am to have been bathed by women who should definitely take up amateur modeling, I would have much preferred this had been a conscious experience.

Which leads to the question… was it?

 

A Coma is described as being a “state of extreme unresponsiveness, in which an individual exhibits no voluntary movement or behavior”.

However Consciousness is defined by two fundamental elements: awareness and arousal.

Awareness involving allowing oneself to process and receive information through our senses and react to stimuli in the outside world, sharing both psychological and physiological components.

Arousal however is a more primitive response and demonstrated as an “involuntary” predictable reflex response to stimuli.

 

 

I am still unable to determine whether an erection would be considered an “involuntary” predictable response for men, or clearly the outside worlds fault for stimulating us.

Although both scenarios appear to display characteristics of “consciousness”

What a brilliantly intelligent way of explaining that I had an awkward boner while getting a sponge bath.

Amazing what you can do with words isn’t it.

It gave me an excuse to get this awesome t-shirt made too..

 

 

On the opposite end of the intelligence scale was the opinionated views of my father, who insisted multiple times that they

“tape it to the inside of my leg”

To which they were very reluctant.

Not because it wasn’t a great idea, but because the removal could be quite painful.

mm